We scattered the rest of my brother's ashes today.
At the beach.
Well, to be accurate, at the cliffs above the beach. Near his old apartment.
Me, my daughter, Dan's best friend and his wife.
No big tado. Just us.
Cryin' a bit.
But mostly laughin'.
BUt I came home early from work. I couldn't think or concentrate. So I came home to dinner made by my husband and three ferociously wagging tails. Well, stubs of tails. Well, waggin' dog butts. (Cocker Spaniels have their tails trimmed VERY short.)
And I was sitting here feeling sad. I thought. I missed Dan.
But I missed Smitty and Janine. I missed laughing with them. I missed getting hugged every 5 seconds.
And I realized....we had been celebrating all the love that my brother had given us.
And we had nurtured the seeds of love that he had planted in our hearts for each other.
I hadn't spoken to Smitty in 38 years. But in the last two days he became my brother.
Dan's passing broke my heart and it will never heal.
But Dan gave me Smitty.
And tonight I have a heart full of love for both of them.