Them's Fightin' Words

There are two words that, after almost 23 years of marriage, tell the other person that they are getting close to reoccurring, offending behavior. 

1. Screwdrivers---This comes for either being overly helpful or from deep seated control issues. It arose when one spouse was putting together a piece of furniture using the aforementioned tool and the other, without verbal communication, took said tool from first spouse.

Subsequent discussion was, well, a little on the warm side of the stove.......

I give this no gender assignments but I don't think it takes a rocket scientist or a carpenter to figure that one out. 

2. Checkbook---This comes from a road trip to Las Vegas. I admit to being the offending party.

You see, I was never good at arithmetic. I did really well in algebra and geometry. I can add, multiply, divide and work out equations. But ask me to subtract...... I really don't know what happens to my brain.

So on this road trip, spouse is driving. I am requested to figure the balance in the checkbook as the last several checks have not been eliminated from the balance.

I take the checkbook and, in short order, give the total. I am, of course, quite pleased with myself.

Spouse, in a tone of astonishment, says, "That is NOT possible."

I insist that I am correct. I have done the arithmetic several times. Discussion ensues.

Spouse, not so quietly, explains that the balance was SIGNIFICANTLY less BEFORE I eliminated the checks from the balance.

I had added the checks into the balance as opposed to subtracting them. I did it three times in a row. (I was checking my work!)

Needless to say, this is a sore subject with me.

The advent of small calculators was a life saving event for me.

But those lovely instruments don't work if you don't feed them the right information.

So today, as I am beginning a new weaving project I added in the stuff I was suppose to subtract. The project DOUBLED in size.

The lovely scarf I was going to make is now going to be dishtowels.

At least it is cotton. That can absorb water.

All I could think about was "checkbook".

Spouse knows better than to say the offending word, but I hear him mumbling something.......