Saturday, December 20, 2014

Them's Fightin' Words

There are two words that, after almost 23 years of marriage, tell the other person that they are getting close to reoccurring, offending behavior. 

1. Screwdrivers---This comes for either being overly helpful or from deep seated control issues. It arose when one spouse was putting together a piece of furniture using the aforementioned tool and the other, without verbal communication, took said tool from first spouse.

Subsequent discussion was, well, a little on the warm side of the stove.......

I give this no gender assignments but I don't think it takes a rocket scientist or a carpenter to figure that one out. 

2. Checkbook---This comes from a road trip to Las Vegas. I admit to being the offending party.

You see, I was never good at arithmetic. I did really well in algebra and geometry. I can add, multiply, divide and work out equations. But ask me to subtract...... I really don't know what happens to my brain.

So on this road trip, spouse is driving. I am requested to figure the balance in the checkbook as the last several checks have not been eliminated from the balance.

I take the checkbook and, in short order, give the total. I am, of course, quite pleased with myself.

Spouse, in a tone of astonishment, says, "That is NOT possible."

I insist that I am correct. I have done the arithmetic several times. Discussion ensues.

Spouse, not so quietly, explains that the balance was SIGNIFICANTLY less BEFORE I eliminated the checks from the balance.

I had added the checks into the balance as opposed to subtracting them. I did it three times in a row. (I was checking my work!)

Needless to say, this is a sore subject with me.

The advent of small calculators was a life saving event for me.

But those lovely instruments don't work if you don't feed them the right information.

So today, as I am beginning a new weaving project I added in the stuff I was suppose to subtract. The project DOUBLED in size.

The lovely scarf I was going to make is now going to be dishtowels.

At least it is cotton. That can absorb water.

All I could think about was "checkbook".

Spouse knows better than to say the offending word, but I hear him mumbling something.......