Monday, May 23, 2011

Idiot Point Game

I realize that the name of this game is not politically correct. But today I won so we are going to talk about it.

I didn't just win the game.....I won by, at least, a mile. And I was still pulling away from the pack.

You see, my daughter and son-in-law give me idiot points for the following:

1. momentarily misplacing my keys (must cause at least a 10 minute delay in leaving)
2. passing the exit I was suppose to take (must be cause of at least a 10 minute delay in arrival)
3. momentarily misplacing my State Bar Card and ID (must cause exclusion from jail visit after arrival at said institution)
4. momentarily misplacing my debit card and/or credit card (must cause one day delay of purchase OR embarrassment at checkout)
5. leaving necessary items behind when traveling (must cause otherwise unnecessary purchase)
6. any other sign of general loss of mind while appearing sound and sane such that telling my spouse would result in constant mocking by said spouse until the end of days (his or doesn't matter)

I have had days where I get a few points. The keys and the cards usually lead the way. So much so that my daughter has purchased pouches for me to keep them all in so I can't leave the house without noticing that I am missing them. It has worked fairly well.

But today, I won the whole enchilada. The entire shootin' match.

I had my keys. Check
I had my cards. Check
I wasn't driving so missing an exit wasn't my problem.
I had double checked the packing of my little suitcase. I had makeup, underwear, socks, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, medication.....check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check. All there.

So off to Santa Barbara we go. I have parole hearings in the morning and a court appearance in Lompoc in the afternoon.

We go to SB every week and we stay in the same motel. I make a reservation as soon as I am assigned cases.

First point......I forgot to make a reservation.

Santa Barbara at this time of year can be crowded and they don't save rooms just cuz you usually have one.

I call at quarter to 6 to ask if they still have room at the inn. Hallelujah, I am saved. Jake, at the desk, just laughs and laughs. How could I forget to make a reservation? Cuz I was busy?

Anyway, we get to the motel and my lovely daughter says, "where are your clothes?" as she looks in the trunk. I blithely reply that they are in the back seat. She says "well, I hope you don't have to wear that tomorrow" referring to my jeans and sweatshirt.

I walk into the room with my suitcase in hand and it hits me. I have won. I have won, big time.

My very clean, nicely pressed suit, is hanging in my closet at home. Along with the very nice shirt that I pressed to go with it.

I have nice, shiny dress shoes to go with my dirty jeans and sweatshirt.

That, my friends, is the Idiot Point Game.

Macy's LOVES the Idiot Point Game.

No comments:

Post a Comment